Still Day Number 1

Okay yes I've already blogged today, but I just feel like my mind won't stop running and creating thoughts and the only way to rid myself of them is to write them down... or type them down? Anyways, family thing went okay blah blah. It was sort of boring but everyone got along which was the point right? To see your family, pretend to love each other and move on with your life. I've realized in the matter of one short day that I made too many resolutions which I have not prepared for. Like, how can I even begin to eat healthier with no healthy food in my house. Resolutions are never fulfilled on my part and just as history does, I repeat myself on a yearly basis. And I never learn from my mistakes either, like when I locked my self out of my house. I jumped through the window and then walked outside about two seconds later and did it again. The problem was that I locked the first window after I crawled through it so I had to check every window on my house to see if their was another open one. Thank God their was. Tomorrow is Christmas at my boyfriends fathers house. This will be year number three and I dread it every time. It's sort of akward, we chat with supposed family of my other half which whom he doesn't even affiliate with on a normal basis and then we akwardly say good bye and try to sneak out the door while the fam tries to tell us one more story we don't care about. Fun right? I don't nessesarily understand the point of spending time with people just because it's a holiday. I sort of feel like I never see you guys any of the other 364 days so why are you going to drive up from new york and tennesee or the neiborhood trailor park just to see me on Christmas. I'm guily of the gift collector role which comprises of agreeing to go along to random family holiday events because I know there is going to be gifts with my name written all over them even though 90 percent of the time it's stuff I would never want. I remember once when I looked up at a crow and just danced with it as it flew through the sky and I was so encased in my own child like happiness. That day was unlike any other I've ever experience and it was more of a holiday to me then any holiday I've ever experienced. I drove around for hours listening to The Beatles and just crying and laughing and trying to figure everything out about myself. I wish more people could get joy out of simple beautiful days and thrive less on what we're "supposed" to get enjoyment out of. So if anyone is reading this please go hiking and find the biggest tree, sit under it and just think. It's a ton more fun then eating cold ham reminising about when Uncle Bob farted in the super market.